According to SSRS, 39% of American adults have used dating apps to find love online‡. Yet the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) also reports that Americans lost more than $1.14 billion in 2024‡ after believing they were in a relationship online but were, in fact, being scammed in long, elaborate cons. The combination of online dating’s popularity and the ease of digital communication has made social engineering and romance scams more prevalent, so you need to be more vigilant in response.

Be wary of scammers looking to use emotion or claims of love to manipulate you, trick you, or persuade you to “help” them. They may try to convince you to reveal personal information they could then use to steal your identity, or they may ask you outright to send them money.

What is the love scam technique?

Romance scammers will go to great lengths to gain your interest and trust, showering you with compliments, sharing what appear to be details about their life and emphasizing what you have in common. Some scammers even pretend to be celebrities to get your attention. This manipulation process may take months – months when you firmly believe you are in a relationship, but the scammer is simply biding their time before they begin requesting monetary support.

This long timeline and the earnest nature of the scammer’s communication with you can make it difficult to identify a romance scam. Romance scammers are masters of manipulation, so let’s talk about some red flags to be aware of when you make new connections online.

What are the signs of a dating scammer?

If you have begun building a relationship with someone online, be wary of too-good-to-be-true claims of wealth, celebrity status, or international business acclaim. Watch for these behaviors and make sure to check up on what the person is telling you.

  • After gaining your trust, they tell you an elaborate story and ask for money, gifts or your bank account/credit card details.
  • Rather than asking you outright for money, they may instead offer to help you “invest” in cryptocurrency. This may be a scheme called financial grooming, or the gruesome name “pig butchering”. They’ll start with small amounts, and then gradually encourage you to invest more and more. Then, when you wish to cash out, there will be astronomical fees or you may never hear from them again.
  • They don’t keep their promises and always have an excuse for why they can’t travel to meet you and why they always need more money.
  • If you don’t send money straight away, their messages and calls become more desperate, persistent or direct. If you do send money, they keep asking you to send more.

Protective measures against romance scammers

When you meet someone online, always consider the possibility that she or he could be a scammer – particularly if any of the warning signs are present. Verify, then trust.

  • Perform a Google “reverse image” search‡ of the individual who contacted you to see if the images consistently match the name they use, and make sure the images aren’t featured on unusual websites. This may help you identify a romance scam if the photos are labeled as a different name, are shown in advertising, or are of celebrities with lots of pictures available to the public.
  • With the rise of artificial intelligence (AI), which can generate realistic photos, you also need to be sure the person you’re talking to didn’t create their profile or shared images with AI tools. Some ways to spot AI images include distorted backgrounds, inconsistencies like different earrings or shadows that don’t align with lighting, background text that looks like nonsense, and images that look too “perfect” or cinematic.
  • If you agree to meet with an individual in person, always tell family and friends where you are going and how long you’ll be away. Meeting in a public place is another way to protect yourself.
  • Be wary of money requests. Never send personal information that could be used to open credit cards or accounts in your name, and carefully consider the possibility of a scam before you agree to give anyone money.

Reporting and recovering from romance or celebrity impersonation scams

If you realize you have fallen victim to a romance scam or a celebrity impersonation scam, act promptly to minimize further financial and emotional harm. Start by ceasing all contact with the scammer and documenting any communications or transactions for future reference. It is important to report the incident to the appropriate authorities, such as the FTC, your financial institution, and the relevant dating or social media platform.

Moreover, if you have shared any sensitive personal or banking information, immediately notify your bank and consider placing a fraud alert on your credit report to protect your assets against potential identity theft or additional losses.

Love requires trust, but stay wary

Staying vigilant and informed is the most effective way to protect yourself from romance scams. By recognizing the warning signs and understanding the tactics that scammers use, you can avoid falling victim to both financial and emotional manipulation.

Remember, a genuine romantic connection should never require secrecy, urgent requests for money, or stories that cannot be verified. If you suspect that someone you have met online may be attempting to deceive you, take immediate steps to distance yourself and seek advice from trusted friends, family or professionals. Your awareness and caution not only safeguard your own well-being and finances but may also prevent others from experiencing similar heartbreak and theft.

At UMB, we care about protecting your wealth and our role as your trusted financial institution. View our roundup of fraud protection advice and visit UMB’s Financial Education Center for more resources on protecting your financial future.

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